


Maybe We're not So Meant To Be

by ActuallyFace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 04:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyFace/pseuds/ActuallyFace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nepeta finds herself in a world of blood and pain, and only barely manages to get herself to what might prove the safety of the nearest hive- or rather, the great expanse of lawn around it. But will the troll within, who has seemed so long to hate her, come to her aid?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who's There?

It was everywhere.  
That was all she could think, really... that it was simply everywhere. It was in her nose, metallic and sickly. It was in her eyes, olive green and quickly overwhelming everything else. And it was in her, simply in her, masking everything else she could feel. That was, aside from the hazy fog in her mind that seemed to be slowly trying to smother a sharp, burning pain in her shoulder and just above her right hip.  
But now the green was fading, fading into blackness... And through the haze pushed a single thought, dim and frantic. She was injured, and she needed help. Saving. There was a hive nearby, she knew... just out of the woods. It was in the center of a large grassy field, and it was the closest to her, and that was all she knew at that moment.  
With breaths shallow and quick, Nepeta slowly rose to her feet and pushed through haze and pain and forest foliage to find what had to be her best hope at help and life. When she finally fell again, it was into lush grass, and before her was the dark shape of a hive, just barely visible to her through blurry vision and the quickly approaching nightfall. And then it was gone... And so was she. She was in her own head, now, the dark nothingness of unconsciousness.

Karkat sat hunched over his husktop, his fingers dancing almost angrily over the keys. Everything about him seemed angry, really... his posture, the sharp and precise movements of his hands, even his expression was twisted up in what looked to be a permanent scowl. But this, of course, was nothing new. This was Karkat, this was how he spent his every waking hour, and... well, he liked it this way. He liked knowing what was going on at all times, and he liked the distraction that the husktop provided from his mind. It was one of the reasons he slept so little, really... Sleeping required him to pull himself away from his connection to the rest of the world. And then things happened without him, and he was forced to figure out those things from others. But then details were left out, and... Well, he just didn't like it. And of course there were other reasons, but none irritated him so much as that one.  
But of course he had to sleep at some point, and that time jut so happened to be then. It was late anyways, and he was tired, and he was fairly certain he hadn't slept since at least two nights before... perhaps longer. He never really bothered to kept track.  
So the last letter was typed, the last message sent, and the husktop powered off and closed. Karkat sighed and then stretched as he leaned back in his pile, then shoved his husktop aside and stood at last. His fingers curled around the back of his neck before sliding away, and with another heavy sigh, he turned and began the walk to the stairs at the far end of his luxuryblock. He stopped at the foot of them, though, and craned his aching neck to squint out at the bright moons that dimly illuminated the starry sky, as was routine. Their mixed green and purple cast a strange sort of light onto the small bit of world he could see from his side of the four-paned window, and along with it came an eerie, almost... creepy kind of feeling. Like something wasn't right.  
But that was normal. That was how the night always looked, how it always felt... Sort of. Generally, the moons were at least a partially obscured by some kind of fog, or clouds, or something of the like. But tonight was completely clear, completely dark, and... Well, it felt different somehow from most nights.  
No, fuck that. It wasn't the moons. It couldn't be.  
The familiar shapes and colors of the moons never made him feel so off as he did now, as the whole scene did now. That wasn't it.  
Karkat squinted further and moved forward, a frown creasing his lips. That was it. And what the hell was it doing there? That little lump out there... It remained too far away for him to see correctly, but it looked sort of... green. Or was that the glow of the larger, greener moon?  
No... the shade wasn't right. And besides, the purple threw it off a little... The lump wasn't the right color to be grass, either. And it appeared sort of flat, not quite the right flat to be a rock, or...  
Oh.  
Oh.  
It was a troll.  
It had to be, it only made sense. It was about the right size and shape, judging from how far away it seemed to be, but... But the question still remained. What the hell was it doing there? And laying down, no less. This wasn't it's place to be, and it certainly wasn't... well, normal. The position was too exposed for any normal troll to be comfortable with, and the place... Karkat was alone out here, he always had been. His friends were strictly online, and no other living being had any business being out here. Not until he was far older, or until he was actually, seriously in a quadrant. Though even under those conditions, his friends rarely visited each other.  
Of course, they all knew where each other's hives were, partially because of past dealings, and partially because of past, wriggler-like curiosity. So maybe it was one of his friends, who had decided upon a spontaneous visit? Or perhaps it was something else... Whatever it was, there was really only one way to find out. And as much as he hated the idea, he was going to have to sooner or later. It was far better than letting the mystery sit and bother him, anyways. If there was one thing Karkat couldn't stand, it was not knowing something.  
So he wrapped his fingers around his arms and folded them tightly over his chest, and then he was outside, trekking across the dewy lawn in pursuit of the stranger that resided there.  
"Hey!" He called harshly when he was certain that the other was close enough to hear him. "What the hell are you doing out here?! Is something seriously fucking wrong with your head?! You'll hurt yourself, you know! Hey! I'm talking to you!" Karkat quickened his pace, and his grip around his thin arms tightened. Why wasn't the moronic shitface answering him?! They weren't even moving, they were just laying there, as if they were de-  
Oh.  
Oh god.  
That was... Blood. Everywhere. Olive green and sticky and... everywhere. What had even happened to cause so much blood? And how had they gotten- Oh dear, never mind how they got there. Karkat knew who that was. That shade of green, it was too familiar. He knew what that was, he knew who, too, and it made him want to be sick. Because it had to be her, the happy-go-lucky self-named 'furocious purrtedor'. The shade was exactly her's, and those lips that stuck up in the middle and just a bit at the ends to just barely resemble the mouth of a cat, it was all too perfect. Or rather, purrfect, though the joke didn't much help Karkat's churning stomach.


	2. What's Wrong With Me?

It was dark... utterly black, to every sense. Sightless, soundless, scentless... and that scared her, that absolute nothingness, more than anything else. Though in all honesty, it shouldn't have. She was a huntress, was she not? She had felled many a beast in the darkness. This was nothing new.  
But, regardless. This wasn't a familiar darkness. This was a darkness that suggested something else, something far more terrible than a frightened hoofbeast. This darkness held nothing, though... nothing more than thoughts. And bad ones, at that. Emotions and feelings that made Nepeta's heart go cold with dread, that made her stomach plummet, that made her skin crawl.  
If she had had any of those things, it would have, anyways. But she wasn't sure at that moment, she wasn't sure of anything. Except for that... that badness. The badness, which seemed so certain and so there, and yet so frustratingly remained obscure.  
But then the stillness was broken.  
It was a slow process, only a barely-noticeable lessening of the terrible darkness, and no shapes were quite yet visible. Only a lifting of the badness, just faintly, so slowly... But then, there was sound. A voice, to be precise. Familiar in a way that was hard to describe, for though it was certainly recognizable, Nepeta had never truly heard it before. Not really. It was only in her thoughts that she ever did, and even then it was only her imagination, a wild guess derived from the tones and personality that seemed to reside by the grey text so frequently upon her screen. And even then, this voice seemed so familiar more because of what is said, rather than the inflection with which it spoke.  
"Hey," it said, "I know you're awake, shithead. I'm not a total moron. Come on, stop playing your damn games. This isn't funny. Get up!"  
The last word, louder and more urgent than the rest, seemed to force Nepeta's eyes open. But she quickly shut them again, even the muted colors of Karkat's hive too much for the girl in contrast to the utter blackness of before. But the quick flicker of her eyelids was enough for Karkat, and his small sigh of relief was just barely audible to the finely-tuned ears of Nepeta. And that little sound made her lips twitch, just a bit. He had been worried... Maybe he did care, just a little.  
No, no, don't think about that. Not now. You'll get your hopes up, and then where will you be? No, push it from your mind. It doesn't matter. You're his friend, of course he cares. He always does...  
"Oh look, Recuperating Beauty awakens." Karkat observed with forced sarcasm, and Nepeta couldn't help the giggle that pulled her lips wider.  
"I couldn't have been out fur that long!" She protested, letting her eyes flutter again to peer up at Karkat. She moved her arm to try and prop herself up, then then stopped and lowered it gently back to her side, grimacing at the pain that shot through her shoulder. Brief concern flickered over Karkat's features, but it quickly disappeared again under a mask of disgruntled sarcasm.  
"You were out for sweeps, Nepeta. We were forced to invent new methods of slowing the aging process down in order to prolong what was left of your life and supply you with the ability to live out what normally would have been the remainder of your perigrees."  
Nepeta grinned at that before crinkling her features up into a sort of scolding look. "I can smell lies, mew know." She told him, as a lusus might grunt to a naughty wriggler. "Mew can't fool me."  
"How do you know I didn't just do exactly that? What if I told you that only to keep you from knowing what really happened?"  
"And what might that be?" She asked, grinning again, now.  
"Why the fuck would I enlighten you on that subject?"  
Nepeta huffed. "Come on. Purrlease?"  
"No."  
"But Karkitty..." She whined, though obvious acting and excitement was in her voice. They were playing, now, and she could hardly hide her joy.  
"The use of idiotic nicknames isn't going to change my mind."  
"At least tell me why I'm here?"  
Karkat fell silent for a moment. He could tell she was being serious, now... And it was a valid question, definitely. She had a right to know. But that didn't mean it was any less disturbing. All of that blood, and the confusion, the complete fear... he hadn't known what to do, hadn't known if he was supposed to show compassion and help the dying troll, or revert to usual Alternian rules and leave her to die. And he had chosen to be weak, to help her in her weakness, and... And it wasn't something he was really very eager to talk about.  
"Karkat?" She persisted, arching her eyebrow a little. He blinked at her, and then forced his expression back into a scowl again.  
"You got attacked by something, I guess." He grumbled at last. "Dragged yourself in here, so I patched you up. Nothing more, nothing less. Can you drop it, now?" The last bit came out with a sort of snarl, and Nepeta frowned a bit. He was acting awfully touchy about it, she thought.  
"Yes, sorr-"  
"Would you shut the hell up? The ceasing of the arrival of your cat-infested words in my thinkpan would be positively brilliant right about now. You don't have anything to be sorry for, you didn't fucking do anything. Alright?" And he lifted himself from of his place on the pile beside Nepeta. He practically radiated anger, Nepeta thought, just like he did over Trollian. But she could see the discomfort in the way he stood, the way his eyes flicked from her to the wall behind her to something at the side in flighty succession. He wanted out, but why?  
Maybe it was because of the implications his actions might have held. He had shown that he cared, right? But what did that even mean? Why did he think it meant something more than the platonic feelings she already knew he possessed for every one of their friends?  
Gosh, Karkat was confusing. And just as she opened her mouth to reply to his words, he turned and left, leaving her only more baffled than before. What was his problem?


	3. Well, Shit

Karkat entered his room and shut his door as quietly as he could manage, for once, though he wasn't really entirely certain why. And he didn't allow himself time to think about it, either, as he made his way over to the red husktop that sat atop his old wooden desk and plopped himself into the worn leather chair before it. With a flick of his fingers the husktop was opened and booted up, and he leaned back a bit in his chair while he waited for the thing to finish it's little powering-on routine. He needed a distraction... Anything to keep his mind off of the stupidity of his earlier words, as well as the actions that had followed them. He shouldn't have left so abruptly, have alerted Nepeta to precisely how strange the current situation was. Maybe she would have remained oblivious, then... She had to be at least a little hazy from the lack of blood in her body and brain at the moment, right? And she wasn't exactly the most intelligent troll to begin with... No, no, fuck that. Yes she was. Hunting took more than just physical strength, it took tactics and instinct and acute knowledge of the area, as well as of the behavior of the hunted... And even if she had gotten hurt this one time, she was still a brilliant hunter. A master, even.  
No, he shouldn't have saved her in the first place if he hadn't wanted any of this to happen. And he didn't, he knew, but then could he really have let her die? Could he live with himself knowing he had had a chance to save her, and had given it up?Let the life slip from the body of one of his only friends? And regardless of his own moral compass, Equius wouldn't have let him live with himself. At least, that was what he thought.  
Oh, fuck, Equius still didn't know, did he? His moirail was sitting helpless on a pile in Karkat's hive, injured and in pain, and he had no fucking idea. And as much as Karkat hated the blue-blooded pile of shit, the guy still deserved to know. He would figure it out soon enough, anyways... He would notice she was gone, and he would contact the others. Sure, Nepeta often spent days at a time on the hunt, but this was different. She wasn't going to return in a few days' time and hop back on her little tablet, and she wasn't going to be able to for quite a while now. At least, not by Karkat's uneducated estimation. And he was certainly due to start worrying soon enough, maybe a couple more days, but Karkat didn't want to wait until then. Telling Equius now would probably be better, anyways. He wouldn't seem so much the bad guy, that way.  
Well, fuck his distraction from Nepeta, then.  
Karkat sat up at his husktop, which had at last finished booting up, and dragged open the Trollian window. Equius was online already, so Karkat opened up his chat box and began a conversation. And after several long minutes of angry banter, Equius ended it was a somewhat obscure, "D- E%pect me there, in a little while."  
Well, shit.

A knock sounded on the door of Karkat's hive and Nepeta perked up, then struggled to push herself into a sitting position so she might see the visitor when they entered. Karkat blocked her view, though, when he finished making his quick way down the stairs, and she gave up with an irritated little huff. She wasn't disappointed for long, however, as the figure that stood on the other side was quite a bit taller than Karkat, and rather distinguishable.  
"Equihiss!" She exclaimed happily, again trying to push herself up to get a better view of the newcomer, who granted her a nervous and clearly worried little smile before turning his gaze back down and to Karkat's most likely angry face.  
"Let me in." He demanded, though there was a kind of anxiousness in it, as if he was afraid Karkat wouldn't like it. He didn't know the Cancer's position on the hemospectrum, what if he accidentally offended a highblood?  
"Why the fuck should I? You don't exactly own the place. I dictate who comes and goes, not you." Karkat retorted hotly, his anger already sparked by the commanding tone of the troll before him.  
"Karkat, stop it." Nepeta objected from behind him. "Come on, purrlease? He didn't do anything, and he won't." Karkat turned his head to look at her and his gaze softened, just a little... She was hurt, trapped in one place with makeshift bandages covering the sloppy stitches he had tried to hold her wounds shut with. She certainly deserved to see her moirail, and Karkat was hardly any substitution. He couldn't provide the emotional support Equius could.  
"Purrlease?" she repeated, her voice a little softer this time, her eyes round and pleading. Nepeta knew how worried Equius must be, and she wanted to see him, regardless of the mental strain it would no doubt cause her.  
At last Karkat rolled his eyes and stepped aside, and Equius moved quickly past him. Nepeta grinned at him when he reached her side and crouched there, then the two began talking in hushed voices, Equius's stern and concerned, and Nepeta's chipper and bright. Karkat, feeling rather out-of-place, watched for only a moment longer before moving off into the protienblock to search for something that might be edible.


	4. My Opinion Matters, Too

It had been several hours since Equius's arrival, and Karkat had taken refuge in his respiteblock as an alternative to hanging around the chatty two without purpose or anything to occupy himself with. However, it hadn't done much use. He could still hear them, from his position in front of his husktop. Their voices had risen in volume upon his departure and he could hear Equius's gruff commands and Nepeta's playful refusals, even over the tapping of his keys. And he still felt awkward, even without physically being in their presence. And why shouldn't he? They were in his hive, and had essentially kicked him out of his own main block. He didn't even know what to do anymore, how to entertain himself or even when he could go downstairs again. Shit, maybe he should just go down there and kick Equius out or something... Sure, it was clearly pleasing Nepeta that she had her moirail there to entertain her, but he had no real right to be in his hive anyways. Or he could go back down and... and what? Participate in the conversation? He hated talking with Equius, and he had enough trouble with Nepeta anyways. And talking with both of them would be... weird, especially under the current circumstances.  
But he couldn't hide in his respiteblock forever, and sitting where he was would do nothing to improve the situation anyways. Maybe he could go down in a little while, try to entertain himself for a bit and then get Equius out... it was getting late, anyways, and Nepeta had to rest. Besides, he wasn't going to let the blueblood stay over. Nepeta alone was bad enough, and the other had a hive of his own he could get to. Yeah, he could do that... He would have to wait a while, though, before anything could really be done. He would have to figure out some other way to keep himself occupied in the meantime.

As it turned out, Karkat didn't have to wait long at all. Equius came up to Karkat's respiteblock on his own, looking shifty and uncomfortable, though he seemed to be trying to cover it with fake bravado and determination, as if facing Karkat was some kind of dangerous task from the days of the ancestors.  
"I'm going to take Nepeta back with me." He announced, even his husky voice mirroring his feigned courage, and Karkat frowned at him and stood, already opening his mouth to protest. "I am her moirail, and it is only right that she take up residence in my hive, as opposed to that of a practical stranger." Equius continued quickly in an attempt to stop Karkat from saying anything. It only lasted as long as he spoke, though.  
"Don't fucking kid yourself, she's staying here. She's in no condition to travel, and you're a goddamned tool if you believe for even a second that I'm going to let you carry her halfway across Alternia and tear open the stitches I worked so fucking hard on." He replied hotly, striding forward, as he did, to stand before Equius and glare up at him. The highblood gulped once, clearly conflicted. Was this bad, had he done wrong in angering Karkat, or was he doing good in putting the other in his place? Fiddlesticks, this whole mystery blood thing was beginning to get on his nerves... and not much ever got on his nerves. Not really.

"She does not belong here-" He started, but Karkat cut him off again.  
"Like fuck she doesn't! It doesn't matter what quadrant you two imbeciles are bouncing around in, she ended up on my lawn, and she is my goddamned responsibility until she's fit enough to bound off into the woods like a cat on drugs and curl back up in her animal corpses again."  
"Vantas, this is not your deci-"  
"Don't you fucking dare try to tell me what I can and cannot say in my own fucking hive. You weren't even given permission to be in here. This is my hive, and I have a fucking right to decide what happens inside it. Or, more specifically, who is inside it." he was yelling now, his scratchy voice echoing through the hive and, specifically, to Nepeta's ears.  
"Karkitty? Equihiss?" She called, using her cat-pun nicknames for the two in a childish attempt to calm them down. With a small hiss of discomfort, she struggled to sit up again, then fell back when the pain was too great. Shit, this really wasn't fair... her moirail and flushcrush arguing over her... it didn't seem right, and it was even worse that she couldn't even stand up and put a stop to it.  
Her words seemed to have worked, though, for the two had fallen silent. A few moments later, Equius turned and plodded down the stairs to join his moirail, and Karkat moved quickly after him.  
"Nepeta, grab onto my neck." Equius mumbled when he reached her, and ready moving to angle himself so he could lift her into his arms.  
"Oh, no you don't." Karkat growled in response, and quickly placed himself between the two. Maybe he couldn't do much against Equius and his strength, but he could certainly try. The larger male wasn't known to be very violent, anyways. "You aren't taking her off this pile."  
"Yes I am." Equius replied, though he didn't try to do anything to physically move Karkat out of his path.  
"You aren't." Karkat replied, clenching his fists at his side.  
"I am."  
"You are-"  
Karkat stopped speaking immediately when Nepeta wrapped her warm fingers around his wrist, and instead looked at her in surprise.  
"Would both of mew quite it?" She snapped, her voice harsh and almost frightening, despite the childish lilt that it seemed to contain no matter what she did. "Don't I get a say in what happens to me? Mew two are just arguing away without efurn consulting me, as if my opinion doesn't matter. Why don't you just ask me what I think should happen?"  
Karkat drew his gaze away from her, clearly ashamed but trying to hide it regardless, and it was evident that Equius was doing the same, even with his shattered glasses on.

Nepeta was silent another moment before speaking again, her voice quieter and her harsh tone gone.

"I want to stay here."  
Equius turned his gaze back to her again, and Karkat lifted his eyebrows at the blueblood in a somewhat haughty expression.  
"Fine, perfect." Karkat said, "But the other buldgelicking idiot is leaving."  
Equius looked at the two for a moment, as if considering how productive arguing further might be, then simply shrugged and turned to face the door. "Fine, but I expect you to take care of her, Vantas." he muttered as he passed the Cancer, and then left.


	5. Juggling Emotions

Karkat seemed to deflate a little when the door slammed shut behind the burly blueblood, as if Equius's presence had been the only thing keeping him truly awake. He looked tired, now... defeated, despite his victory. Some of it, though, was the relief of having the other gone. Less stress, the ability to once again actually roam fucking free in his own fucking house... Yeah, that part was more than reasonable. But the fact that the conflict had taken so much out of him was, he had to admit, a little pathetic. What, he could take it online, but not in real life? What good did that do him?  
Maybe it was more than that, though... not that he would admit that. But Nepeta's own anger, her obvious distress, the stress he was causing of both them, not to mention the small, slender, but strangely calloused fingers still wrapped around his wrist with a tight grip that seemed to convey a reluctance to let go... it was setting off alarm bells in Karkat's head that he honestly didn't want to address. He hated thinking about what all of that stuff meant and why it was there. And why? Because it scared him shitless, to be honest. Everything about that, everything about quadrants in general, so long as they weren't someone else's, scared the hell out of him. Sure, he could deal with everyone else's emotional problems. He could talk about Eridan's drama with his kismesis and moirail all day long, he could talk to Sollux about his regret and many red interests even longer, but when it came to his own? He didn't even want to think about thinking about it. Even if he dreamed of someday filling a few, like any other right-minded troll did, it was still a frightening idea for him. Though, it was matespritship that scared him, more than anything. He was confident in his ability to be a good kismesis, he could do that, but matespritship... it was geared towards pity, and he hated himself too much to really think he could pity anyone else, or see them as lower than him in a significant way. And beside that, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to be pitied, himself. He spent all of his time, every bit of his energy, trying to prove himself. To be viewed as lower than another after that, to be seen as something pitiable when he tried so hard to be anything but, was simply shameful.  
But still... some part of him craved it, some part that was in him and every other troll and refused to be ignored. The hand gripping his wrist... he knew it belonged to one that was willing to give him those feelings, that already felt them and probably wanted more than anything to show them. He had seen the signs, probably everyone had, or at least could if they took even a second to think it over. She didn't exactly hide her feelings for him, or rather, she wasn't very good at it. And to be honest, they frightened him. In more ways than one, he was absolutely terrified of them... What if they weren't real? What if they were all an act that she was putting on as some kind of joke? What if he returned them, and she ran as soon as she inevitably found out what he really was? What if he hurt her, or she hurt him? What if... there were a thousand possibilities, each one only adding to the mountain of groundless reasons he avoided any kind of quadrant-filling with another. Terezi had been the only one he had ever allowed himself to think about fully in that way, and only then because she seemed not to care about the repulsive red that flowed in his veins. With that hand on his wrist, though, he almost wondered if that had been his only reason for ever feeling that way for her in the first place...  
With a small shake of his head, Karkat attempted to clear the thoughts, and then jerked his wrist free of Nepeta's fingers. She looked up him curiously at that, but he ignored the injured gaze and made his way up to his respiteblock.  
It was only a few moments later that Karkat returned, though he didn't spend long in Nepeta's company, only as long as it took him to walk through the room and into the proteinblock. After another few minutes of crashing around in there, he emerged again with two bowls of something hot, and handed one to Nepeta before sitting on another pile beside her with the other. He continued to ignore while she sat up, struggling to gain a foothold and push herself into the right position while also trying not to spill her soup, until finally he sighed and set his own bowl down to help her. When at last she was sitting up and comfortable with the bowl resting in her lap, Karkat sat again, and proceeded to once again ignore her.  
"Karkitty," Nepeta started after a long while, at last fed up with his strange silence, and the other looked up from his soup. "mew can't be mad furever. Besides, he left, shouldn't mew be a little less angry apawt it?"  
It took a long moment for Karkat to answer. "I'm not mad, I'm thinking. Drop it." he muttered, and that alone should have set off some alarms, at least to one who knew him well. Karkat hated having time to think... pondering things, turning them over and over in his head, it was something he dreaded. Always, it lead to him only hating himself more, and good never came from it. Never. It was why he spent so much time and effort trying to distract himself. But while Nepeta knew him better than most might from all of her pickings over of their conversations, she didn't know that much.  
"Thinking apawt what?" She prodded instead, excitement creeping into her tone. She wanted to hold a conversation with him, with anyone, really. She was stuck in one place with nothing to do, and she was quite honestly bored out of her wits.  
"None of your business." Karkat retorted in a grumble.  
"Come on, mew can trust me." She coaxed.  
"Nepeta..."  
"Karkat."  
"Shut it."  
"Oh, I know mew can do better than that. What happened to all of your furncy insults, Karkitty?"  
"They were chased away by your abhorrent stench. I would be shocked out of my wits if they returned. I would literally be picking up my own enormous quantity of knocked-off socks for an entire sweep."  
Nepeta giggled. "Are mew sure? Purrhaps my pawsitively inpawxicating good looks have drawn them back already. They seem to have returned."  
"They have not."  
"Now mewre just ignoring them on purrpose. Come on, don't be rude."  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
Nepeta giggled again, and, both of them at least a little cheered up by the light conversation, continued to chat over their soup until Nepeta was feeling drowsy and Karkat returned once again to his respiteblock.


	6. A Walk To Remember

It had been several weeks, now, since Nepeta's initial arrival at the hive, and things seemed to have mellowed quite a bit. Karkat especially had grown surprisingly less grumpy around the other, save for the few hours every three days or so he would allow Equius to visit. But even then, he mostly kept to his own respiteblock, not to emerge again until the blueblood left, and only then to check up on Nepeta in his stiff and somewhat brooding way. Nepeta was getting better, though, and perhaps that was why his mood had lightened so much. She could sit up and move around a bit, and even walk around for a short while in the downstairs part of the hive. But the stairs were off-limits, as was the outside world.  
One afternoon, however, Karkat came trotting down the steps pulling a thick black sweater over his head, and Nepeta cast a curious gaze in his direction and pushed herself up on the pile.  
"Going somewhere, Karkitty?" She inquired, using his cat-pun nickname, as she had grown accustomed to doing more frequently lately.  
"Why the hell else would I be struggling with this itchy piece of inanimate evil? Of course I am." He grumbled in response, though his voice was muffled through the fabric of his sweater, which he was still trying to tug over his horns. Nepeta grinned and shifted so that her legs hung off the edge of the pile, leaning forward with an interest almost reminiscent of a cat's. When Karkat finally got the sweater on and straightened, he grabbed a smaller grey one off the banister and tossed it to Nepeta, then began hunting for her shoes. When he finally found them and straightened to hand them to her, he found her wearing the sweater, but clearly confused.  
"We're going for a walk." He told her in answer to her obvious silent question, and she grinned again and nodded, stretching a hand out for the furry blue shoes.  
"Finally decide I'm not a compurrlete weakling?" There was a lightness in her voice, almost a giggle, and for a brief moment she could have sworn she had seen a resulting smile on Karkat's lips. But it was gone just as quickly.  
"Do I need to get out the ventadhesive? Shut it." He set the shoes in her hand as he spoke, and she flashed him another toothy grin before bending to strap them on. When she had finished, she stood, though it took some obvious effort and Karkat tensed as he watched, alert and ready to catch her should she fall. She managed, though, and then the two were off, her hand resting on his arm for balance as they moved out the door and into the grassy field outside.

It was nice, Nepeta thought, walking with him... He was quiet for once, other than the odd grunts and grumbles intended to interrupt the silence whenever it felt too heavy. And perhaps the circumstances weren't so great, but... well, she certainly wouldn't have jumped at the chance to go back and avoid the encounter with the attacker in the first place. Besides, she would heal in time. She would be good as new soon enough, and while having to leave the comfort of Karkat's hive might be a little more than disappointing, she wouldn't have traded this time with him for anything. Besides, he seemed to be warming up to her... His grumbling wasn't so directed at her, and his anger had faded somewhat, replaced instead by a reluctant, teasing playfulness. The moments just after Equius left were particularly nice, too... his attentiveness to her safety and wellness was... well, it made her heart flutter and her stomach jump, as cheesy as that sounded.  
Soon enough Nepeta's energy began to fade, and she was leaning unintentionally into Karkat for support and dragging her feet in the dirt of the forest they had reached. When Karkat noticed, a frown tugged lightly at the corners of his mouth, and he stopped to move the arm she still held to grab her's in return, entwining the two and helping her keep upright. When she noticed the shift, she glanced at his hand for a moment, then grimaced a little at her own stupidity and straightened again, letting her own legs take what weight she could manage. She couldn't be weak in front of him, in front of anybody... She was a troll, and however stupid the customs were, it was practically ingrained in her to follow them. Besides, earning Karkat's pity was not that important. She wasn't going to act a helpless fool, a moronic damsel in distress, in order to try and win him over before she even spoke to him about how she felt. And she would do that, eventually... she had resolved to even more now than before this whole thing. Besides, as awkward as it might be for both of them, she couldn't simply go through the rest of her life knowing she never told him when she had such a perfect chance.  
"Ready to go back?" Karkat finally asked when he at last realized how much she was really struggling, and his voice held a strange, uncharacteristic softness. Was that... was he really worried about her? She wasn't even really sure if that was a bad or good thing, though it set her heart a-flutter again regardless.  
"No, it's pawlright." She replied, but when she tried to take another step forward, Karkat stopped and took arm with his other hand as well to help support her. She stumbled a little as a result, but was quick to catch herself.  
"I'm not entirely devoid of brain cells, you know." He growled, though the spark of anger in his voice didn't seem to be directed at her. Nepeta sighed, and nodded a little, too tired to really argue.  
"Fine, but I can walk back on my own." She told him, trying to tug her arm free as she turned, but Karkat held fast.  
"I'm not risking your stitches. If you fall, they're done for, and I refuse to stitch your fucking flesh together again, or have you pileridden for another month or something."  
And then they were off with another reluctant sigh from Nepeta, whose pace grew increasingly slow as they made their way back.


	7. At Long Fucking Last!

By the time the two had gotten perhaps halfway home, Nepeta had given up on trying to carry her own weight and was leaning heavily against Karkat's shoulder. The Cancer had an arm wrapped around her waist to keep her stable, though he was tense and stiff and painfully careful of her stitches. Every few steps she stumbled, and he would stop to catch her and straighten her and carry on, not really letting her rest. She had to keep going... standing and taking a break would only wear her out more, and they were close now, anyways. Besides, if he let her sit, she probably wouldn't be all for standing again, and while Karkat had managed to carry her in from his lawn the first time, it hadn't exactly been easy. He was tired now, anyways. He might not be able to get her inside on his own if she was unable to stand herself.  
Luckily for Karkat, when she finally did fall, they were already within meters of his hive.  
He caught her when she stumbled, as usual, and grunted with the effort, but when he finally got her back up to her feet again, he could tell she was out. Her eyes were shut, her cheeks flushed green, and she was completely limp... definitely not awake, and it didn't take a doctor to tell. With a muttered curse, Karkat lifted her arm over his shoulder and began dragging her inside, left without another option. When they finally reached his main block, Karkat grimacing and puffing and Nepeta still out like a light, he lowered her onto the pile and moved away again to close the door- or, he would have, had she not cracked her eyes open and wrapped her fingers around his wrist with that incredibly tight grip of her's.  
Karkat swore again, and turned to look at her, both confusion and something like anger but closer to concern evident on his features.  
"I thought you had passed out?" He asked, almost incredulously, and Nepeta's only response was muttered and incoherent. Then she tugged him towards herself, and while weak, Karkat was unwilling to resist her and possibly hurt her in such a weak state (not to mention he was tired himself and her grip was stronger than he, though being as prideful as he was, he would never admit it.), and practically fell right on top of her. He was able to stop his descent, however, before he really hit her, but he was still elevated only inches above her, arms straining on either side of her head and nose just centimeters from her's.  
"You can't be serious." Karkat muttered, struggling to keep a note of anger in his tone, but it was hard. The moment was seriously cheesy and probably the most idiotic romantic attempt he had ever even witnessed outside of one of his gooey romcoms, and aside from it startling him practically out of his wits, he found it quite honestly endearing. He loved that stupid romantic shit, the cheesy, mushy gushy stuff you could normally only find in something like that one movie with Troll Adam Sandler and the forgetful blonde chick... And perhaps this hadn't exactly been classified as cheesy yet, or even romantic, but... shit, it was close enough to make his heart pound and his spine crawl with that ever-present fear of that kind of relationship.  
"Of course I am." Nepeta's voice was just over a whisper, and her eyes were suddenly huge as she peered up at him. Alright, maybe this wasn't such a good idea... yeah, she pitied him, maybe even more than that, but... was this really the way to go about showing it? Pulling the object of her affections right on top of her to announce her undying pity to him? Sure, he liked romcoms, and this was certainly a lot like them, but... seriously?  
Alright, no, she couldn't be thinking this shit over now. She had, in her fatigued and hazy state, gotten herself into this situation, and there was no getting out now. So it was either she go through with whatever moronic thought had entered her mind upon acting, or...  
In one quick motion, Nepeta released Karkat's wrist and curled her fingers into the front of his sweater, the pulled him down so she could press her lips against his. She hesitated for a moment before doing so, however, but then she was pushing hers to his, eyes squeezed shut tight as if she was afraid of seeing his reaction.

They remained that way for a long moment, and Nepeta could feel Karkat stiffen, then relax into the contact and finally pull gently away, eyes wide. Her own eyes opened as well when he did, and she looked... almost afraid. She knew she had fucked up, now she was just waiting for the reaction. And after a moment of staring at her, working through the possible repercussions and consequences of each of his possible reactions, Karkat allowed his lips to curve up a little, then leaned forward and returned the kiss with uncharacteristic softness.


	8. The End of the End

"Do you have any idea when she will wake up again?" Equius's voice was unsettlingly worried, and the only sound in the room aside from the cold, steady beeping of the heart monitor. Karkat looked up at the words, though they weren't directed at him, awaiting a reply.  
"I'm afraid not." The nurse replied, his fingers twitching uneasily at his sides. It was clear on his face how much he hated this job, or at least, this part of it. Being the bearer of bad news could never be described as fun.  
Silence fell again in the room, and Equius nodded, then hesitated a moment where he stood, and made his way over the tiled floor to stand beside the bed.  
Beep. Beep. Beep.  
Nepeta's face was pale, devoid of it's usual rosy-cheeked, pink cheeriness, and she almost appeared to be sleeping. She was sleeping. Or at least, that was what they all told themselves. The lie seemed far nicer than the truth. But the fact remained; she wasn't waking up anytime soon. Not that they could be sure of... She did look peaceful, though, and they had to wonder if she was happy. If she was dreaming the vivid dreams she would normally, filled to the brim with fantasies and romance and the strange races, usually the grey-skinned "trolls" as she called them, beyond their imaginations. Or if she was only drifting there in darkness, alone and cold and scared. They had to hope for the dreams, they had to believe in the dreams, because otherwise she wasn't happy. And they wanted her to be happy, of course they did... Karkat, though, found that particular wish more a source of guilt than he would have expected.  
Searching for comfort, Terezi's hand slipped between the arms of their chairs and grasped his, squeezing, and Karkat let his fingers tangle with her's and offer a light squeeze in return. It only brought more guilt, though... He knew Nepeta had liked him. It was obvious. But he had avoided it always, like a coward, afraid to face even the affections of a little girl. Her coma had hit him hard, though, like a slap to the face, and seemed to suck from existence the fire that usually blazed within him. Terezi had picked up the pieces, though, and... well, and there they were. And while it was everything he had hoped for for a long while, it still seemed wrong. Nepeta's waking was unlikely, and she loved him, and... and here he was, holding hands with some other girl, even at her bedside. Even while she... she... he didn't even want to try to imagine what she was dreaming, if she was. He didn't want that thought in his head. Even if it was already there.  
With eyes hardened by a resolve to show only strength but crumbling with worry and remorse, Karkat watched Equius take his seat across Nepeta's still body from him and draw her hand into his, fingers shaking. For a moment Karkat managed to fool himself into thinking that the man was only trying not to hurt her, but he knew that he was falling apart. He knew how hard this had hit him, and how hard it continue to hit him, with each passing second and each new development. Karkat was bad, but Equius was unimaginably worse. He had lost more than Karkat cared to think about, and he wasn't sure which sight was worse at that point, which idea more painful. The fact that Nepeta was practically gone, or that Equius was going with her. That he was experiencing something worse than Karkat could even attempt to bear, and there was nothing he himself could do about it. He couldn't be the friend that helped others anymore, because he didn't know how to help. Hope might help, but there was no hope Karkat himself could see. Comfort wasn't something Karkat could ever provide to Equius. And... well, he had nobody else. He had lost his only true friend. He had lost the one that looked out for him and kept him out of trouble, and on top of that, he had failed to do the same for her. No emotional band-aid was going to even begin to heal those wounds. There was absolutely nothing anybody could do about this, and that was what frustrated Karkat more than anything.  
No, not frustrated... Frustration would have been, nice, even welcome. Frustration would have been the fire Karkat wouldn't couldn't rekindle. This was helplessness, and it was far worse.  
With a little shudder, Karkat squeezed Terezi's fingers tighter between his. He could see her, feel her wince, but he didn't care. It was just pain. Just more pain.


End file.
